Let’s demystify what really goes on in those sessions.
If you’ve spent any time on TikTok, Instagram, or in a therapist’s office lately, you’ve probably heard people talk about EMDR like it’s this magical, life-changing thing. And honestly? It kind of is, but not because it’s trendy. It’s because EMDR helps your brain do something it desperately wants to do: heal.
If you’ve ever wondered what happens in EMDR therapy, or if the whole “eye movement” thing sounds a little strange, here’s a no-jargon breakdown of how it actually works.
A Quick Intro to EMDR
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, which is a mouthful, but the process is much more intuitive than it sounds.
Here’s the simplest way to put it:
EMDR helps your brain take experiences that were overwhelming, scary, or too much at the time and finally file them away correctly. It helps your brain process what was previously unprocessed.
It’s like your brain tried to save a document, the power went out, and the file got corrupted. EMDR helps clean up that “corrupted” file so it stops popping up out of nowhere — in anxiety, triggers, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, emotional flooding, or that random wave of shame that hits out of the blue. You’re not forgetting the memory. You’re just no longer controlled by it.
What Actually Happens in Session
EMDR actually starts way before we actually “process” the memory in session. Reprocessing happens in phase 4, but there are 8 phases of the EMDR process. You can read more about the 8 phases of EMDR here. People are often surprised when they hear how normal an EMDR session feels. There’s no hypnosis. No mind control. No reliving your trauma in graphic detail.
Here’s what it actually looks like:
- We pick a target — a memory, belief, or emotional pattern that feels stuck.
- You notice what comes up — sensations, images, emotions, thoughts.
- I guide the bilateral stimulation — usually eye movements, taps, or buzzers in your hands.
- Your brain does the healing work — connecting the dots, processing old information, and shifting how the memory lands in your body.
You’re awake, grounded, and fully in control the whole time. I’m not doing anything to you, I’m guiding a process your brain already knows how to do when it feels safe. At the end of session, we will make sure you feel grounded and the memory is “contained” so you are regulated and in a safe place mentally when you leave.
What It Feels Like Afterward
Most people describe EMDR as a mix of:
- “That was weirdly powerful.”
- “I feel lighter.”
- “I didn’t know that memory still had a grip on me.”
- “I’m exhausted but in a good way.”
Sometimes you’ll feel relief right away. Sometimes it’s more of a slow decompression over a few days. And sometimes you’ll feel “activated” afterward. Not in a dangerous way, just in a “my brain is doing things” way.
Clients often tell me, “I keep thinking about things I haven’t thought about in years,”
Or “Something just clicked and I don’t know why.”
That’s normal. That’s healing. That’s your brain reorganizing old stuff so it stops running your life.
Who EMDR Works Best For
While EMDR is best known for treating trauma, it’s incredibly helpful for:
- anxiety
- panic
- relationship patterns that won’t budge
- attachment wounds
- childhood experiences that still affect you
- big or small traumas
- perfectionism and people-pleasing
- feeling “stuck” in therapy
If you’ve ever had a logical understanding of your trauma, meaning you know what happened, you know it wasn’t your fault, but your body still reacts like it’s happening, EMDR might just be the missing piece. It bridges the gap between what your mind knows and what your nervous system still believes.
If EMDR has been calling your name, this is your sign.
You don’t have to keep carrying what happened to you.
Your brain is wired to heal. Sometimes it just needs a little guidance.
If you’re curious about starting EMDR or want to know what happens in EMDR therapy specifically in my practice, you can reach out anytime. I’d love to walk you through it.
